Jackass And Ukraine

Jackass is the number one movie in America. Meanwhile, America is rushing toward war in Ukraine. There has to be a connection, right?

The Jackass movie is all about guys doing stupid stunts and being injured. And America’s foreign policy is all about getting into stupid, pointless wars. The difference is that it’s not the perpetrators who get injured. It’s the men (and women) who enlist in the armed forces.

Uncle Sam’s foreign policy reminds me of a hemophiliac sticking his hands into a dogfight – which I witnessed as a kid.

I lived in a fairly rural area. There was a local farmer who came around selling eggs. He would be accompanied by his two dogs. The smaller of the two would start a fight with our dog. Then the larger of the farmer’s dogs would join in, making it two against one.

Then one day the farmer came around with only one dog – the smaller one. When he attacked our dog, our dog soon took control. Then the farmer grabbed our dog by the collar and lifted him up.

The farmer’s dog then bit our dog in the balls. Our dog twisted his head around and bit the farmer in the wrist. You should have seen him bleed.

The old fart used to brag that he was descended from royalty, and maybe he was. Hemophilia is known as the disease of royalty. So…

My mom gave him a dish towel to wrap around his wrist and told him not to come around any more. She should have done that long before.

We took our dog to the vet and he lived many good years.