“The Irish Times said a man who appeared to be in his 60s was dragged into the post office in the town of Carlow on Friday, propped up by two younger men. When questioned by staff, the two fled, leaving behind the older man, who was found to be dead.”
“Why isn’t he talking?”
“Well, ah, since his stroke he’s been a little slow.”
“He’s not moving very much.”
“Oh, he moves fine” (shaking the old man).
“Hey, the old fucker’s dead!”
“We’ll come back for the pension check. You take care of him for us.” (Runs out the door)