Man Arrested For Theft Of Two “Masturbators”

“According to a criminal complaint, Jacob McFarland last week entered the Adult World emporium in North Wales, a Philadelphia suburb, and walked out with a pair of masturbators, a $95.99 Fleshlight model and the Autoblow A.I. (which retails for about $250)”

“The Autoblow’s creators contend the 10-speed masturbator–which plugs into a wall outlet–“uses artificial intelligence to give you the perfect blowjob.””

(I wonder how they label the settings. Do the settings have names like Stormy Daniels and Monica Lewinski?)

And what’s wrong with today’s kids? Needing high-tech contraptions to whack off? In my day, we didn’t need no fancy-shmancy contraptions. We knew how to do it manually.

The country’s going to hell, I tell ya!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: